Valentine’s Day — a day of exchanging flowers, cards, and loving sentiments punctuated with warm feelings of admiration, affection, and infatuation. But for millions of Americans, there is one thing preventing them from participating in these celebratory acts of love: a date.

Being dateless on Valentine’s Day can evoke feelings of loneliness and self-doubt, especially for those who are believers in the mythology of true love. Embedded midway through the frosty season of winter, it is portrayed in the media, particularly in relentless flower, fragrance, and jewelry advertising, as the singular day of year set aside for love, romance, and passion.

But what is a person to do when he or she is feeling the chilling blues of being single instead of embracing the fiery desire of love?

Dr. Laura S. Brown, professor of psychology at Argosy University/Seattle, offers tips on how single guys and gals can celebrate Cupid’s Day, instead of being defeated by it. “Love is not about a particular day, or about cards, flowers, or even being in a relationship. The illusion that coupled people are happy and well-loved can feed feelings of loneliness or isolation for people who aren’t with someone, and wish they were,” says Brown. “Seeing the illusory nature of this holiday can be the first step in feeling better about being precisely who and where you are.”

According to Brown, the most important message that singles should  remember on Valentine’s Day is that love is not just for couples; it is for all of us.

The following are more ways that single men and women can enjoy

Valentine’s Day without worrying about the pressures and pitfalls that often come with the holiday:

1. Do not define yourself by your relationship status. Your relationship status is not your identity.

2. If you are single because of a recent loss, allow this to be a day of grieving. Do not pretend that it’s not a hard day. Get support and sympathy.

3. Realize that Valentine’s Day is a commercial holiday. It is not about love and relationships; it is about selling flowers, candy, and diamond jewelry. Think of all the money you are saving.

4. Plan well in advance to do something that will not place you in the path of billing and cooing couples. Even if you usually like dining out alone, do something else on Valentine’s Day.

5. Get together with people who do love you — friends, family members, the people who already have relationships with you.

6. If you are single and you don’t want to be, start now to think about what is in the way of you creating the relationship you want. Find ways to work on becoming the person your dream partner would fall in love with. Start therapy. Take up yoga. Begin to volunteer. Create art. Make meaning. Act to change the world. It is into the fullest lives that love is most likely to fall.

7. If you are single and you like it, now is the time to affirm your choice. People who never marry or partner have close, loving, emotionally intimate relationships and lives worth living. Do not let a couple-driven culture define your choice as something wrong.

For more information, visit the Argosy University website at www.argosyu.edu.

Courtesy of ARA Content

Valentine’s Day is a mysterious holiday—we celebrate it every year, and yet nobody really knows where it came from or what the origins of Valentine’s Day are.  What we do know is that the holiday, despite thought to be a Hallmark-holiday, is based on the legends surrounding Saint Valentine.

Saint Valentine can be traced back to Christian and ancient Roman traditions, and the Catholic Church alone recognizes three different Saint Valentines.  The many myths and legend surrounding this patron saint are what gave us the holiday we today call Valentine’s Day.

Just a Tall Tale?

There are many legends about the origin of Valentine’s Day, and of Saint Valentine for that matter.  One story says that Valentine was a Roman priest during the third century, who continued to perform marriages for young men and women despite the Emperor Claudius’ forbiddance of the practice.  Claudius then supposedly ordered Valentine to be put to death.

This story has another ending.  Instead of being put to death, some legends argue that Valentine, in fact, went to prison, where he created the first valentine.  He is said to have fallen in love with a young girl who visited him, and to have written her a letter before his death.  He signed the letter “from your Valentine,” coining the phrase as it is used today. 

Whichever legend may be true, if any of them are at all; there are certain elements of the stories that remain true.  The origins of Saint Valentine always dictate that the man was a martyr, and he is always said to be a brave and courageous hero.

Popular Practice

Though the origins of Valentine’s Day remain unclear, more is known about when Valentine’s Day first became a popular holiday.  It was not until the seventeenth century that Valentine’s Day became a popularly celebrated holiday in Great Britain.  At first, crude letters were written to carry on the tradition of the holiday, which made it very similar to Valentine’s Day’s supposed origins.  Soon, printed cards were used instead.
In the 1700’s, America first began to celebrate the holiday.  The first mass-produced Valentine’s Day cards were produced in the 1840s by Esther A. Howland. 

A Modern World

The origins of Valentine’s Day have survived over many years, and the holiday is still celebrated by the United States, Canada, Mexico, the United Kingdom, Australia, and France.  Though some traditions have changed, Valentine’s Day is still true to its origins in spirit.  

When you think of Valentine’s Day, there are many stories and traditions that come to mind.  One of the most famous symbols of the holiday is cupid.  Cupid continues to be referenced in modern times; yet, his presence in mythology is by no means a recent occurrence.

Cupid and Valentine’s Day have been associated together for a long time—ever since the ancient Greeks and Romans were around!  In fact, the word “cupid” stems from the Latin word cupido, which means desire. The association between Cupid and Valentine’s Day comes from a specific legend that has been passed down for thousands of years.

Legend and Lore

The main reason that Cupid is associated with Valentine’s Day in modern times is because the story of Cupid is one of love.  Cupid was said to have fallen in love with Psyche, a mortal.  He married her, but she was forbidden to look at him.  One day she disobeyed these orders, and Cupid ran away from her.  To be reunited with Cupid, Psyche paid a visit to Venus, Cupid’s mother.  After making her undergo several tests, Venus reunited Psyche and Cupid.  Eventually, according to the story, Cupid and Psyche gave birth to a child named pleasure.

Other legends are in circulation about Cupid’s arrows.  It is said that whoever is struck by Cupid’s arrow immediately falls in love with the next person they see.  Supposedly, this is how Venus came to fall in love with the god Adonis.  Cupid’s arrows are either golden or leaden.  A golden arrow represents true love, while a leaden arrow represents wanton and lust.  Sometimes, Cupid is even said to carry a torch.  This torch is supposedly used to light passion between a man and a woman.

Then and Now

The Cupid associated with Valentine’s Day is quite different in appearance from the Cupid we think of today.  Nowadays, Cupid is represented as a winged, naked boy carrying a bow and arrow.  Though this image of Cupid complies with the idea of Valentine’s Day, it differs greatly from the Cupid of the Greek and Roman legends.  This Cupid was said to be very mischievous and naughty. 

A Fun Fairy Tale

Almost everyone knows that there is no such thing as a Cupid with magic arrows that can control the love and passion of mortals.  Yet sometimes, especially around Valentine’s Day, some people find it nice to think that such a myth could bring them their chance at love.